Sunday, June 11, 2006

ode to the automatic transmission: praise from my vagina

ordinarily, my conveyance of choice is connected to manual transmission; however, i shipped my wheels to the states about 4 weeks ago. my boyfriend, who is in massachussetts visiting his family, offered me the use of his SUV in his absence. i used his SUV, which is equipped with automatic transmission, to get down and back from my parents' house this past weekend.

on the return drive, i encountered one small problem: boredom. i grappled with the ennui that is driving the speed limit through the belgian countryside for 20-plus kilometers until my eyelids began drooping. coasting along at a smooth 80, windows down and stereo pulsating to some prodigy, i did what any bored twenty-something female would do: i rubbed one out.

in 3 minutes tops!! let me tell you, nothing beats an orgasm like that of having wind whipped through the carriage and the road rolling underfoot like a checkerboard blur; it was exhillerating. i finally made it home and in much better spirits, might i add. henceforth, i give praise to the automatic transmission because i could not have driven one-handed so eloquently otherwise.

it's nappy-nap time now. the divine miss em will be over shortly to help me clean my basement.