Friday, June 02, 2006

somebody got the su-fi yesterday, and it wasn't me

an excerpt of a message i emailed to ***** regarding a recent squadron drama:

"hey *****, i know you won't be getting this for awhile...i just got your text (i didn't have my CP on me when you texted me after check-in). i hope you had an uneventful journey to oklahoma and then massaschussetts. not much going on here; it has only been 8 or 9 hours since i dropped you off. your directions were fantastic. at first, i was a little confused, but i just kept my eyes peeled for luik/leuven. i actually made excellent time on the way back - one hour!! and i wasn't even speeding. much.

soooooo. i got kind of worried in my usual neurotic fashion. at approximately 3 this afternoon, we got an email from the first shirt about a mandatory short-notice CC call. well, of course you either think it's another case of leadership crying wolf (and we'll be in for another last minute 101 critical days of summer briefing), or something truly bad has happened. here's a thought, the last time we had a CC call of this magnitude, ****-***** had committed suicide. having a grave distaste for flying, i just thought, "god please don't let this be shitty news." over the top, i know, but still. just the email was very weird. weird as fuck.

we all get to the gym, and the senior enlisted for our squadron tells us the CC will be in shortly with directions to follow the shirt's instruction for attention/at ease. eventually, the shirt comes in; puts us at attention. the CC makes the walk, circumventing the audience (our entire squadron, standing in the gym), feet pounding a hard rhythm into the floor, and he finally makes it to the stage (there is an auditorim located directly in front of the formation; a new addition, i surmise). normally, he would have had us at ease with a joke or two long before he ever began his pilgrammage around the body of people. not so this time around.

the gym was dead silent. you could hear a pin drop for fear it might burst your eardrums with its singular intensity. sooooo.....the CC does this weird, mechanical hopping movement onto the stage, ass-first (weird, i know), and, after permitting us to stand at ease, proceeds to tell us in monotone while he is in the position of attention, he "has never been under investigation for any crimes...and will be leaving for a position in ramstein with a RNLTD of 30 jun. your new CC will arrive NLT 31 Jul. This is the hardest thing i've done, but the af has called upon me to serve in a billet at ********. i'm going to miss you guys..."

he gets all choked up and shit.

"....you guys are my family. i love you guys."

before i couldn even breathe life into thinking quite the contrary (about our family ties), the shirt called us to attention and sent us on our merry way. so....yeah. that was totally unexpected. and i'm a thousand percent grateful it wasn't bad news (which is how they impressed the CC call upon us, in my opinion). there is serious conjecture he has been "fired" because of his conduct outlined in the UCA results."

of course, the theory about the UCA results is simply conjecture and not confirmed. he might very well be taking a short-notice reassignment one year early. it's just odd because i've been in several years and never had i witnessed something of such a peculiar degree.