Wednesday, February 08, 2006

minot -- i'll tell you why not.

i got my orders on monday: minot. yay me, not.

this is really bad for a couple of reasons:

1) i don't want to separate from minot, and i'll only have 12 months in service by the time i pcs; however, i don't know if i can handle two major moves twice in one year -- the financial and emotional ramifications scare the fuck out of me. so, what happens if i re-enlist (because i won't be eligible to extend)? if i re-enlist, i'll end up making the AF a career, because another term will put me well over the 10-year mark. fuck. i'm so not happy with this. i don't want to be one of those single 38-year old used-up has-beens, no husband, no kids, raspy voice, and wrinkled tanning bed skin who refers to all the airman she supervises as her "babies". fuck no. so please don't respond with some trite little bit of dime store wisdom: minot is what you make of it. seriously, i can get over the geographic hell that is north dakota. that's nothing. but i don't know if i can deal with a career in the AF, and my need to settle down and have a family. i just can't.

2) i'm seeing somebody i really care about, and this upcoming pcs brings memories from when i was with ugly and on my way to korea just flooding back. i am not ready to have any kind of talk with ***** over my upcoming pcs because i don't want to be disappointed by what he may have to say. i know he cares about me a lot, but still -- i don't think i can stomach two disappointments in one week. at least if i'd been sent to maguire or dover or hanscom, i'd have half a chance with a long distance arrangement. but minot? i think the closest airport is colorado...*sigh*

anyway, enough about the depressing shit. on a lark last thursday, i bought tickets to italy to visit one of my girlfriends. i left saturday and came back sunday. it was fantastic. i almost missed my flight out of frankfurt hahn. apparently, you shouldn't take the first exit off the autobahn, because once you get on that stretch you still have a good 50 or so km on a winding fucking road with a really bad deer problem. yay me, not. also, this road traverses just about every little fucking ass-crack town in that region of germany. here i am, screaming at cars in front of me (i have a severe driver's rage problem, but only when stupid people drive in front of me). this one fucker was coasting along at a mind-numbing speed of about 40 fucking km in the middle of the country. let's not forget i got lost two times. fuck....

i finally made it to the airport with one minute to spare for check-in. by the time i made it to the gate to board, there was roughly ten minutes to spare. i slammed two massive screwdrivers at the bar i was that tense (and i never drink at airport bars). and then i had another screwdriver on the plane. by the time noon rolled around, i was feeling pretty cush.

the evening prior was great. ***** took me to his place in maastricht (he and his roommate have a house down the road from me in germany, and an apartment in the maastricht centrum). we went to a nearby tappas restaurant. i was skeptical at first, but it was surprisingly romantic. so, 7 appetizers later, we headed over to a wine bar nestled into an old church to meet his roommate and his girlfriend. the atmosphere was pretty nice, and i'm sure the wine was, too, but i drank beer instead. after the wine bar, we headed over to an irish pub where this dumb army fuck was trying to instigate a fight. classy....

so, that's it. sorry for the delayed post. ya'all take care -- let me know if you need an address for sending condolence cards. ;o)