Thursday, September 01, 2005

to naomi: history from 14 to present date

naomi (et al),

my timeline from the age of 14 until present date:

summer of '93 -- moved from texas. worst day of my life, or so i thought back then.

high times in high school -- involved lots of flirting, not much studying, tons of partying and other illicit activities. parents very unhappy...in retrospect, i get scared just thinking about all those shitty situations i put myself in. how i am not an unidentified tangle of bones lying in a ditch is beyond me.....

idaho, you da pimp -- moved during senior year. i hated the place with a passion. i actually studied my ass off and raised my cumulative 1.7 gpa from the previous 3 years to a 3.4, but it still averaged out some where at 2.3 or something like that (i don't count in public). did i mention i hated idaho? also, i had some major falling outs with my mom. sick and tired, i left the house a couple weeks after a graduation with practically the shirt on my back and a couple pairs of levi's.

air force -- after a short cooling down period with my biological father in texas, i joined the air force. don't know if you remember this from jr. high, but i went mmmmmm, 13 years without ever seeing my biological father. let's put it this way -- he and my mother had a bitter divorce and i have since (our reunion) heard two very different sides of the story. anyway, i didn't really care for basic training too much, but i had a blast in tech school.

first comes love, then comes marriage -- yep, i was one of those idiots that got married at 19 or 20.

...then comes the divorce paperwork -- at 14, i never thought that i would be a divorcee. sadly married, happily divorced; that's my motto and i'm sticking to it. left him the furniture, the pampered chef, everything, even the title to my first car, as well as our mutual funds' portfolios, and $3,500 in savings bonds. i guess you could say i didn't have the energy to argue over our belongings...i took my brand new mustang, photographs, clothes, some of my CDs, and my feather down comforter (the cloud blanket).

goodbye to you, my trusted ford -- had to trade the mustang in for a grocery getter. sky-high post-divorce rent, car payments, insurance, and other financial commitments were killing me. fuck, i couldn't even speed in my mustang for fear of getting a ticket i couldn't afford to pay. i really loved that car. it was a lot of fun. however, i'd like to cite this as a defining moment. i distinctly remember returning from the dealership and calling my eldest sister, mother of two young girls and doing her best to support them on E-3 pay.

me: waaaaaghggghghghghgh.

sis: what's wrong? are you okay? did something bad happen?

me: i had to trade in my mustang -- it was too expensive! waaaaghghghghgghhggh!!!!

sis: how awful. do you mind if i call you back later on? i have to figure out how i'm going to feed my girls tonight.....

me: ohhhh.......

so, basically i learned that as bad as i might think i have it, somebody else is more the worse for wear. that always stuck with me, i don't know why. i'm also equally puzzled that it took me so long to figure out that whole concept.


ugly and my stint in the land of the morning after -- ugly is one of my ex-boyfriends. he was great -- the kind of guy i'd always wanted to be with: rode a motorcycle, listened to heavy metal, and had a wicked sex drive. a real quintessential american guy. things didn't work out though -- a lot of which had to do with my assignment to korea, but i'm sure things would have ended anyway. whatever, he was fun.

since having left the land of the morning after and a string of relationships later, and by string i mean a ball of yarn, here i am -- not fourteen anymore, but i feel young. despite my infamously bad relationship with my mother 8 years ago, well, suffice it to say we still have trouble getting along at times, but she's my mom, ya know? the only mother i will ever have. i love her the best way i know how.

anyway, no kids, no baby's daddy, and the like. just me, having a blast, working hard, and playing harder.....oh, going to school and all that jazz......

p.s. - i love the tattoo on your back!! that is some great work.

rare form

my baby sister was in rare form this morning. she woke me up with the old "mom needs you to move your car" routine, but she used her calm and quiet voice this time. anyway, i got up, jammies and all, headed downstairs and my mom was sitting on one of the kazillion computers and said, "oh, it's going to be a while. i didn't realize you'd get up right away."

who does that??? why not wait 15 minutes before waking me up?

so, i sat there waiting for my baby sister. she was putting on the finishing touches to complete her look, which i don't exactly have a name for...wait, yes i do, it's Minus Two for those two-sizes too small clothes she insists on wearing. i have a huge pet peeve with people wearing ill-fitting clothes - too baggy and you look frumpy; too tight, and you look frumpy. i have to give it to the kid though - she gives good face, and she does a good job applying her make-up.

anyway, i told her to hurry her ass up so i could get to bed. yeah, she didn't like that for some reason. for the next 10 minutes, her attitude was a mix of cold-war-meets-insurgent. i told her to get the chip off her shoulder and she made a glib comment about me knowing everything, blah blah blah. i love this kid, but sometimes i want to knock the attitude right out of her, only my parents aren't for that. i told her again that her life was not that hard that she needs to walk around with a chip permanently weighted to her shoulder.

for some reason, i have this weird thing whenever my family members go anywhere -- even to the grocery store...it doesn't matter if we have just been arguing, i have to tell them i love them. i think i get that mostly from my dad and my eldest sister. we'd had a classmate die in a serious accident during high school and, during an argument with my dad, she broke down crying and said she would really regret it if she got in the car and their was an accident and that's the last thing she had said to my parents (something negative, argumentative...). that has always stuck with me. doesn't matter if i'm pissed as hell, i'll still tell them i love them. well, little mama gets in the car with my mom and they're about to head out to the bus stop. i pulled open the door on the passenger side and said, "hey, try and knock the chip off your shoulder."

"sure, whatever," she said with an infamous eye-roll.

"seriously, knock it off. try and be a little pleasant, okay?" this coming from me, a serial non-morning person.

"whatever," and another rolling of the eyes.

"hey, listen. have a good day, all right?" she dropped the attitude a couple of pegs, but it was still slightly present.

"okay, you, too..."

"i love you, asshole. be good today."

finally, she started giggling and rolled her eyes good naturedly and said, "i love you, too."

so, that was this morning.

yesterday, i had a really weird dream. in my dream, somebody sent me a gorgeous arrangement of lillies with a gorgeous coach purse. anyway, i couldn't figure out who would send such a lavish gift. after much commotion in my dreamscape office, i finally found the "card" -- everything was written in italian. just then, the phone rings and it's this dude from accross base saying he accidentally sent it to me because i had the same name as the intended recipient. i was a little miffed, but not terribly so, because a further inspection of the purse revealed it to be a knock-off, and a shoddy one at that.

well, i have to get running now. i have to do some class word, get a pedicure (woo-hoo!), and party with mr. serious tonight. i'll try and post some pictures. bye ya'all.